5 Reasons to Let Your Competition Be Your Friend

We all know we can learn a lot from people who are at the top of our respective industries. If you're an actor, you can browse your favorite movie star's IMDB to see where they got their start, who their agent is, etc. If you're going in to the business world, you can look up the person with your dream career and stalk their LinkedIn profile to get some career advice. And all of that is great, but you (probably) can't actually talk to those people and ask them questions.

Unfortunately, we are often taught that the other people in our same situations are competition, not friends. I won't deny that our peers who are fighting for the same jobs are our rivals because they are, but they can also make great friends.

Brian Imparato, myself, and Andres Erickson on the set of a UCF short film

1) They are easy to befriend because you already know what you have in common.

I don't know about you, but I hate the smalltalk that usually comes with trying to befriend someone. I am far too awkward of a human being and asking you about your favorite hobbies will probably turn into a rant about how much I love cats more than people (sorry not sorry). With other actors, however, it's different. When someone is in the same industry as you, you're guaranteed to have mutual friends or, at the very least, a shared hobby. When conversation lulls, I know I can always ask my lunch date about their favorite movie (which they're guaranteed to be interested in) rather than risking awkward topics, like having debates over politics or who likes cats more....

With the other "umbrella girls" at the ROK Cup

2) You'll stop comparing your behind-the-scenes footage with someone else's highlight reel. With social media, which is likely how you're hearing about your competition's successes, it is easy to distort your level of success, even unintentionally. 99% of the time, I don't wear makeup unless I'm filming something, so those are the days that I take the most pictures. Because of this, I'm sure my Instagram followers probably think I'm on set more often than I am. And I'm sure the same is true for a lot of actors that I look up to. So, rather than getting all of your insight into a rivals' careers from social media, I think it is good to sit down with them and see what they have actually been up to. You might find that you have been working more than they have! And if you haven't, you can ask them how they have been so successful, which leads me to my next point...

Sam Hunter and I on the first day of our film More Than Anything

3) Your competition is a great resource. How did I find out about the acting classes I'm taking? Other actors. About which agencies have the best reputations? Other actors. Who takes good headshots? Other actors. Are you sensing a trend here? No matter what industry you are in, your competition is the best place to find out about internships, online resources, job openings, etc.

Caisey Cole and I on the set of Lost Love

4) Your rivals can surprisingly make a great support system! Okay, story time: This past fall I took acting classes and met two other girls approximately the same age as me. Since the classes ended, we have had dinner together once and texted frequently when we have exciting news to share. Sure, we could spend our time being jealous of one another, but it is a lot easier to be supportive. We actually text each other when we're in movies that need extras and show up to support each other's theatre productions.

Lexie Smith and I on the set of Blind Date, where she was a lead

5) You never know if being rude to someone will come back to haunt you. If the reasons I've listed above aren't enough to be nice, then A) shame on you and B) at least do it for selfish reasons (kidding.... sort of). While you may not want to actually be friends, going to the other extreme and being rude could really hurt you in the long run. I was at an audition one time where the girl coming in after me was just seeing the sides (portions of the script you perform just for the audition) for the first time and there were a LOT of scenes. While I was there for a callback and had notes from my first audition to work with, this was going to be her first time meeting the director. When my audition was over, I offered her my copies of the script because they were already highlighted and had notes on them (thus saving her time) and even read through one of them with her so she could practice saying the lines out loud. I'm not stupid and I didn't sabotage my audition by giving her feedback (which would also probably would've been awkward for her) but I was nice. And guess what? Her dad and I ended up both getting cast. My life would have been so awkward if I had been rude.

I am not saying everyone needs to run lines with their competition; that was only one time out of the dozens that I have been in the waiting room with other actors. But, at the very least, don't make enemies and do your best to learn from each other. In the end, only one person can get the job (or neither of you in many cases) but both of you can have a positive experience.

And, for future reference, I am always happy to help other actors. I'm certainly no expert, but I'm more than willing to show you the Facebook groups I'm in, tell you what I've heard about certain casting directors, talk to you about headshot photographers, etc. Feel free to message me any time or we can go to Starbucks and talk about acting and my love of cats. Just don't expect me to make smalltalk.